


A matter of time

by thewolfatmydoor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mild Language, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 01:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewolfatmydoor/pseuds/thewolfatmydoor
Summary: Dean has been in love with his best friend Cas for years. Not that he realised he was, well not until his subconscious decided it was about time he realised.





	A matter of time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My lovely friend Tine](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+lovely+friend+Tine).

> This is for one of the very best people I know. Thank you for the prompt Tine, I know it probably isn't quite what you wanted but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

The first time it happened was a mistake.

Dean liked to pretend that he found getting up early and taking care of breakfast for his family was a chore, but truthfully he loved knowing that Sam, and Cas were well fed and ready for the day ahead. Jack was spending some time at Jody’s getting to know Claire and the other hellions that Jody had taken in, and Mary was off hiking with Donna, leaving just the three of them back home in the bunker. 

There hadn’t been any new cases for a couple of days and Dean was just revelling in getting to relax for once in his godforsaken life. He had been awake for around half an hour, coffee already brewing, bacon and eggs cooking, and a stack of waffles as high as the eye could see ready and waiting when he heard the shuffling of feet making their way towards the kitchen.

“Mornin’ Sammy, coffee?” he asked brightly as his brother appeared in the door way. 

Sam grunted an affirmative at Dean before slumping down at the table, his head falling to rest on his crossed arms.

Dean filled a mug and placed it on the table in front of his brother, ruffling his hair he asked, “Late night Sammy?”

A muffled, “It’s Sam,” could be heard from within the rumpled mess that was a sleepy Sam. He lifted his head a fraction, “Eileen kept me up going over the case she just got back from.”

“Oh yeh. A case. Sure Sammy.” Dean grinned and waggled his eyebrows as Sam gave him one of his patented bitch faces.

“Shuddup Dean. You know it’s not like that with her.” Sam reached for his coffee and held it up to his face inhaling deeply.

“But you want it to be, and don’t lie to me Sam. I know all of your tells,” he quipped, waving the spoon he was holding towards Sam’s face.

“Whatever jerk. What are we having?”

Dean turned back to the stove, “Bacon and Eggs man, help yourself to waffles first though if ya…”

Sam’s voice cut through what Dean was saying, “Morning Cas.”

“Good morning Sam. Dean, you’re up early?”

Dean tried not to show the shudder that ran through his body at the sound of Cas’ sleepy voice, that damn voice did things to him anyway but when he had only just woken up and it was all super low and gravelly from lack of use, well shit – Dean was only human after all. 

He was impressed to find that he hadn’t instantly melted into a puddle so he took his chances on speaking. What he wanted to say didn’t come out as expected though.  
He would swear blind that, “Morning Cas, did you sleep well? There’s coffee, and waffles, and the bacon is nearly done.” Is what came out of his mouth, however what Sam, and unfortunately Cas heard was, “Morning babe, did you sleep well? There’s coffee, and waffles, and the bacon is nearly done.” 

He spun round at the sound of Sam spluttering his coffee all over the table, “Shit Sam, you’d think you would know how to drink without choking at your age.”

Glancing up at Cas, the smile on his face dropped as he took in his friend’s shocked expression, “You alright Cas? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Cas quickly regained his composure and was just about to ask if Dean was ok himself, when Sam squeaked, “You know what you just said right Dean?”

“Uh yeh you doofus. I asked Cas if he slept well, and told him there was coffee and breakfast.”

Sam blinked at Dean a few times before indignantly saying, “No. No you didn’t, you sai…”

“It’s fine Sam. Leave it please.”

“What are you two on about? I definitely said morning to Cas and told him about breakfast. I really don’t know what you’re on about.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak again, and Cas sighed deeply knowing that this wasn’t going to be brushed under the carpet like he hoped.

“Dean you said morning babe. Not Cas. BABE.”

Dean choked on his next breath, “What the hell are you talking about Sam?” he glanced between his brother and his best friend. Sam had a shit eating grin on his face but Cas was looking down at the floor unwilling to meet Deans eyes.

“You said babe Dean. I mean we both heard it, right Cas?”

“Cas?” Dean implored. A slight tremor in his voice.

Without looking up Cas turned on his heel, “I, uh, think I should go. I forgot something in my room. Yes, that’s right,” and fled the kitchen.

Dean’s stomach dropped through the floor as he watched Cas flee from him, “Dude. What the fuck?” Dean smacked Sam on his shoulder, “What did you have to go and say I said that for?”

“Because you did Dean.” 

“No I didn’t. Did I?” he wasn’t so sure anymore. What if he had let it slip? God this could ruin everything and just when they were starting to settle into their lives here, the bunker being home. Having other hunters to help them out when they needed it. Getting some much needed time off every now and then. He ran a shaky hand over his face, and turned back to the breakfast he had been making.  
“Fuck” he whispered under his breath.

“Hey man, it’s ok. It was just a slip of the tongue or something right. No harm done. I’m sure Cas will be fine. Just take him some breakfast.”

Dean plated up the bacon and eggs and dumped it on the table in front of Sam. He made a smaller plate up for Cas and taking a deep breath headed out of the kitchen towards Cas’ room.  
The door was closed when he got there so he rapped his knuckles on it gently.

“Cas?”

“It’s unlocked Dean.”

He pushed the door open slowly. Peering into the dimly lit room his eyes landed on Cas. He was sitting on the side of his bed, his head held in his hands. His hair still sleep rumpled. Dean thought he was adorable, and he was pretty damn sure that wasn’t something he should be thinking about a former Angel of the Lord, but it was obviously getting harder and harder for him to keep forcing this thing, whatever it was, that he felt for his best friend, down.

“Hey, I uh, brought you some breakfast man,” his voice felt tight, like his vocal chords were being stretched thin, it was unnerving, “I, are we – shit, I’m sorry about what I said in the kitchen Cas. I don’t know what came over me.”

Cas sighed deep and weary, “It’s fine Dean. Thank you for the breakfast.”

“Sure man. It’s uh, it’s fine, no problem,” Dean took a tentative step towards Cas, his free hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck, the hand carrying the breakfast stuck out in front of him like a barrier between them, “here.”

Cas reached out and took the plate from him, his eyes flicked up to meet Deans gaze before rapidly darting away again, “Thank you Dean. I think I would like to be alone now please.”

“Oh. Yeh of course, sorry.”

He backed up towards the door again, bumping into the door frame as he went. Backing out of the room he started to pull the door closed behind him, before pushing it open a fraction again because dammit he needed to know, “Cas?”

“Yes Dean?”

“Are we alright man?” he asked, nervousness seeping through his body.

Cas finally met Deans eyes, but the light that Dean was used to seeing there was dimmed, “Of course Dean,” Cas sighed, “why wouldn’t we be?”

“Ok, that’s good. N-no reason. As long as you’re sure?”

“I am Dean. I will see you later.”

Not wanting to push his luck any further Dean pulled the door closed and headed across the hallway to his own room. His appetite had suddenly disappeared. He landed face first on his bed where he grunted out a muffled, “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” before flopping over onto his back and dragging his pillow over his face.

The next thing he knew there was laughter filtering in through the miniscule gaps between his door and doorframe. He glanced over at his clock. Almost one in the afternoon. He groaned as he dragged himself out of bed and stumbled sleepily down the hallway. Unexpected naps always made him feel groggy and that coupled with not having eaten after what happened that morning, well it was safe to say he was shocked to walk into the War Room and see Sam and Cas laughing at something that was on Sam’s laptop.

“What’s going on?” his voice was gruff and he deflated slightly at seeing Cas tense up, before Sam turned towards him, his smile beaming like a beacon.

“Eileen sent me a link to a video of bees that have been fed on skittles and their honey is a really weird color. She thought Cas would like it and that led to us just watching funny animal videos on youtube. Can you believe that Cas hadn’t seen the baby panda sneezing?”

Dean stood there gaping at them, “Uh, what?”

Sam huffed, “What is wrong with you Dean? Did you even listen to a word I said?”

“Yeh, something about bees, and pandas. Whatever man. I’m starving. I’m gonna get something to eat. Do either of you want anything?” Truth be told Dean hadn’t been fully listening to Sam. He was too busy watching the way Cas’ face morphed from his happy smiling Angel to the stoic warrior that he used to be. He needed to get out of there, and stat.

“Nah it’s fine man, me and Cas are gonna head out to the farmers market soon anyway. D’ya wanna come?” Sam was watching him intently.

“Oh. Ok. No I’m not feeling so hot, just gonna crash and watch some films I think. Thanks though.”

Cas turned towards him and Dean was trapped in his gaze, “Are you ok Dean? I’m sorry I can’t heal you anymore.” He sounded so sad it almost broke Dean’s heart.

“I’m fine Cas. I just need some rest I think. You guys go and have fun though. See if they have any of that skittles honey or whatever it was. I’ll see you later.” He turned and walked out of the room heading back to the kitchen for snacks. Maybe some ice cream, definitely some beers. 

He thought he heard Sam reassuring Cas that he would be fine, but he was rapidly out of earshot and he didn’t want to turn back to see for sure.  
Whilst he was trying to decide between a bag of chips, or a tube of Pringles he heard the door to the bunker bang closed. He grabbed both the chips and the Pringles, along with a tub of ice cream and a six pack. He sequestered himself away in his room and settled down to watch Indiana Jones, it was definitely a Harrison Ford kind of day.

Almost half way through Temple of Doom, and almost all of his ice cream he heard the sounds of Sam and Cas coming home. He decided he would finish the film before going to check on them but half an hour later there was a quiet tapping at his door.

“Dean?”

He could keep quiet and pretend to be elsewhere or asleep.

“Are you in there?” Cas’ voice was small, timid almost and it tugged at Dean.

“Yeh Cas. I’m here. Come in if you want.”

His door swung open and Cas stood in the frame, shadowed by the light behind him Dean couldn’t see his features.

“What’s up man?” he would be eternally grateful that his voice was holding steady.

“We got some apples at the market, and I, uh, well I have made a pie. It’s cooking now. I thought I would see if you wanted some fresh from the oven?”

“You made me pie Cas?” Dean’s heart was hammering wildly against his breastbone.

“Yes. I think Sam might like a slice though.”

Dean chuckled at that, “You’re the best man. Pie sounds amazing. Give me five minutes and I’ll see you in the kitchen yeh?”

Although Dean couldn’t see his face, he could hear the smile in his voice as he all but whispered, “Ok Dean. See you there.”

As Cas walked away Dean fell back against his bed. Maybe things would be alright after all. He couldn’t help the grin that had spread across his face. 

**********

The second time it happened was a mistake.

It had been a few days since the incident in the kitchen and things had pretty much gone back to normal. So what if their eye contact lasted a little longer than usual, and the casual touches that had always been there between them lingered, and Sam cleared his throat more often than he ever had before. That was nothing too out of the ordinary right? Right?

Dean had spent the morning in the garage listening to Zepp and working on Baby.  
Sam had popped in to check on him a couple of times but Dean had waived him away insisting he didn’t need any help. Cas brought him a couple of sandwiches and some beer at lunch. Dean asked him to stay and eat with him. He pulled a blanket out of Baby’s trunk and laid it out on the floor, pulling Cas down beside him. They sat in comfortable silence as they ate.

After they were finished Cas made to leave, “This was nice Dean. Thank you for inviting me to eat with you.”

Dean rubbed a hand over his face and then through his hair absentmindedly, making Cas chuckle, “Dude what are ya laughing at?”

Cas schooled his features as best he could, “Y-you just smeared grease all over the side of your face Dean.”

“Shit, I didn’t did I?” 

“You did. I-it’s very fetching.”

Dean whipped his head around at hearing the laughter in Cas’ voice, “Dude, it’s not funny,” he tried to keep the laughter out of his own voice but he cracked almost instantly, “well shit Cas, at least I’m, what didya say? Fetching?”

Cas ducked his head slightly, “Yes Dean. You are always very fetching.”

Dean felt the blood rush to his cheeks he turned back towards Baby in the hopes of hiding it. He took a couple of deep breaths before throwing the blanket back in the trunk.

“Well I, uh, suppose, um.”

“What was that Dean? I can’t hear you when you have your back to me and you are talking to the floor. I don’t have Angelic hearing anymore.”

“Shit Cas, I didn’t even think, sorry.”

Cas’ face split into a wide, teasing grin.

“Damn man, y’were messin’ with me weren’t ya?”

Cas just tilted his head and shrugged his shoulders, a gesture so very human in nature it made Dean’s heart ache for all that Cas had given up. All that Cas had given up for him. He sighed rubbing his hand over his face again causing Cas to let out a soft chuckle.

“Dammit. I did it again didn’t I?”

“Uh huh. You’re pretty much all motor oil now Dean.” Cas was still smiling at him, it was no longer the big, gummy smile from a minute ago it had morphed into something softer. Something fond. Dean felt the tug at his heart again. He needed to get back to shallow waters and fast, he was too far out of his depth, his guard rapidly crumbling.

Grasping for something, anything that would alleviate the weighty feeling that was descending, he grabbed the hose, “Help me wash her?”

Cas tilted his head in that goddamn adorable way of his, “Me? But you, I, um, you’ve never let me help before?”

“Well it’s time we rectified that then ain’t it? Come on, we can get it done in half the time if you help, and then I can go and wash this grease off my face. Please Cas?” Dean flung his very best puppy dog eyes at Cas knowing full well it would make Cas give in.

“Very well Dean. What do you want me to do?”

Dean pointed to the wall behind him, “Just grab that bucket and sponge and give her a good rub down. If you follow me round I can dry wipe any dust and debris off her before you wash her. That sound ok?”

“Yes Dean.”

Cas followed Dean round Baby, washing away the dirt and grime that couldn’t be removed by Dean. Before he knew it Dean had finished and Cas was still only half way through his job. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, making sure to not cause any damage to Baby that he didn’t hear Dean creeping around behind him.

“WHAT THE HELL DEAN?” Cas jumped up spluttering, water was dripping from his head down to his feet. He stood there shaking his arms to try and get rid of some of the water. Dean had doubled over in laughter and Cas was getting more exasperated by the second, “Seriously Dean. What was that for?”

Dean choked in a couple of shallow breaths, “I, I dunno Cas, but man was it funny.”

“This is not funny Dean. I am wet through.”

Dean finally managed to raise himself up enough to look at Cas, another laugh bubbled out of him at the sight of his best friend, “I’m sorry Cas.”

Cas shook his head and went back to his task, the sooner it was done the sooner he could get out of these wet clothes and into some warm, dry, pyjamas. 

Dean walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, sucking in a sharp breath when he felt how cold Cas’ clothes now were, “Shit man, I’m sorry.”

Cas stood to move the bucket along, “It’s fine Dean,” he made his voice as grumpy as he possibly could, “really.”

Dean trailed sullenly behind him, rinsing the suds off Baby as he went. Cas finished off the last bit of washing and stood up, his back cracking as he stretched. Dean moved in close to Cas, and Cas took the opportunity that was handed to him. He quickly dipped down and retrieved the wet, soapy sponge from the bucket and brought it up to Dean’s face before swiping it down, covering him in soapy, dirty water. 

Dean groaned as the water dripped down his face, the suds tickling his eyelashes and nose, “I guess I deserved that huh?”

“Just a,” Cas said as he held his hand up, his thumb and index finger spaced a small amount apart, “little bit.”

Dean looked back to Cas, relieved to see the fond smile on his face again. They stood close to each other, their eyes locked together, a magnetic force that Dean was finding it so hard to resist drawing him ever closer to Cas.

He started to lean in, his body moving of its own accord. He heard Cas’ small gasp as the door to the garage burst open.

“I’m ordering fo…” Dean sprang back a safe distance away and turned to look at his brother who had suddenly stopped speaking and was silently glancing between Dean and Cas.

“Yes?” his voice came out gruffer than he expected and he cleared his throat sharply. When Sam didn’t say anything else Dean snapped, “Well spit it out Sammy.”

“Oh yeh, right, I’m ordering foo… um pizza, do you guys want some?”

Dean scoffed, “Did ya really need to come and ask Sammy? Usual for me thanks. What about you Cas?”

Cas looked up startled, “Oh, uh, whatever Dean is having is fine with me. Thank you Sam.”

Sam raised his eyebrows before turning on his heel and not so subtly saying something about them needing to get a damn room next time.

Dean shook his head, and clapped Cas on the chest as he walked by him, “Right. I’m gonna go and shower. Thanks for the help buddy.”

Cas visibly deflated but Dean didn’t notice as he was already half way across the garage, his back to his friend, “You’re welcome Dean,” he sighed.

Dean showered as quickly as he could, scrubbing the grease and oil off of his skin took longer than he wanted and it was becoming increasingly hard to ignore the heat pooling in his groin. He was determined not to jerk off. His mind was already a bundle of confusion and he wasn’t going to bring his traitorous cock into the mix too. He turned the cold water to full, jumping and yelping as it froze his skin, effectively killing his half hard cock. Satisfied he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, he dried off and then dressed in his boxers and a threadbare AC/DC shirt. He pulled his dead man’s robe on as he walked out of the bathroom.

He was humming Night Moves as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Night Moves? Really Dean?” Sam scoffed as Dean walked in the room.

He closed his eyes, bobbing his head, “Shhhh, just let it wash over you Sammy.”

“I’m going to go and shower now then.” 

Dean jumped, he hadn’t noticed Cas was in the kitchen too. He heard Sam laugh at him as Cas squeezed by him.

Dean glared at his brother, “Is the food here yet?”

“I’m heading out in a minute to pick it up.” Sam shrugged at Dean.

“K good. Well I’m gonna skype Jody, see how Jack’s getting’ on. Make sure Claire hasn’t murdered him yet. You wanna talk to them?”

“Of course I do Dean, shouldn’t we wait for Cas though?”

“It’ll be fine, I’m pretty sure Jack will have enough to tell us that we’ll still be on the call when he comes back. Ya know how excited the kid gets about new things.”

“That’s true. Library?”

“Yeh, I’ll go get set up. See you when you get back.”

“Sure.”

Dean grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and made his way to the library. He got settled in and placed the call to Jody.

They had been chatting for around 15 minutes when Sam came back. He dumped the pizza’s on the table and Dean instantly reached out to grab a box for himself.

Sam leant over the back of the chair Dean was in and waved to Jody, “I’m just gonna grab another couple of beers, talk to you in a few minutes Jody.”

Dean was still chewing the slice he had shoved into his mouth in one go so there was a lull in the conversation. Jody shouted for Jack and Claire to come and say hi, and they had just appeared on screen when Cas shuffled into the room.

Dean turned to see who it was and when he noticed it was Cas he called him over, “Hey babe, Jack and Claire are here, wanna say hi?”

He heard a giggle coming from the laptop and when he turned back to face it he noticed Claire laughing whilst Jack was sitting there bug eyed, “What’s wrong with you two?”

As Cas came into view behind Dean, Jack said, “Hello Castiel,” at the same time that Claire all but shrieked, “Babe????”

Before Dean could respond Sam came back into the room, “What’s all the shouting about?”

“Dean just called Cas babe,” Claire’s voice was strained as she spoke.

Dean opened his mouth to deny it, but Sam jumped in first, “Again Dean?”

“WHAT???” Claire’s jaw dropped open comically.

“No I didn’t. Did I?” Dean had gone pale, he glanced up at Sam before turning his head towards Cas, his fears that he had in fact called Cas babe yet again were confirmed by the mournful look on Cas’ face. “Dammit,” he breathed out quietly, “I’m so sorry Cas.”

“It’s fine Dean. Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

Cas had turned away to grab some pizza from the table, but Dean guessed it was more because Cas didn’t want to look at him. He sighed deeply, handing the laptop over to Sam he announced that he was going to go to bed. He said a quick good night to Jody, Claire, and Jack before quietly slipping out of the room. Making his way down the hall he heard both Sam and Cas laughing at something someone had said. It made him sad knowing he had missed out on whatever it was that was making them happy, all because his brain to mouth function seemed to have given up the ghost whenever Cas was around.

He got ready for bed and slid under the covers before putting his headphones on and listening to Zepp whilst he drifted off to sleep.

It was nobody’s business if he avoided running into either Sam or Cas for the next few days.

**********

The third time it happened, well, maybe it wasn’t a mistake that time.

Dean had spent a few days avoiding Cas, and by extension Sam. He spent that time working through his feelings. If he was honest with himself he knew that whatever there was between him and Cas had never been strictly platonic. He had spent years burying his feelings for the now ex-Angel, but it seemed like his subconscious had finally had enough and was forcing the issue out into the open. So he made the decision that the next time it happened it would be because he wanted it to happen and not because his brain thought it was a good idea to make him trip over his own words.

With his decision made he flung his bedroom door open, passing Sam in the hall he asked if he knew where Cas was?

“The library I think. He said something about some research he had been meaning to do.”

Dean clapped Sam on his shoulder, “Thanks man.”

He made his way purposefully towards the library. He took a deep breath and strode in without giving himself the time to back out. Glancing around he was thankful to find Cas at one of the little tables and not somewhere in the stacks.

“Babe,” his voice came out in a squeaky whisper, he cleared his throat and tried again, “Babe, I need to talk to you.”

Cas looked up, sadness and anger rapidly crossing his features, “Dean. You have got to sto…”

“No, Cas please. I need to say this, and I need to say it without you interrupting me. Please?”

Cas looked up at him, “Very well.” He gestured for Dean to continue.

Dean ducked his head, “Ok. So. Uh. Look, firstly I want to apologise if I’ve upset you, or made you feel uncomfortable, or anything like that by calling you, well,” he shrugged hi shoulders, “you know, recently. I didn’t realise I was and I just need you to know I didn’t mean for it to hurt you. But look, here’s the thing. I freakin’ love you man. Like I am one hundred percent, heart pounding outta my chest, head over heels in love with you. And I know that I don’t deserve someone like you. God I am lucky to have you as my friend, let alone anything else. But shit I am so tired of hiding who I really am. I am tired of lying to myself, and to Sam, but most of all I am tired of lying to you. I love you Cas. I have for years. And I understand if you don’t feel the same, I mean why would you? I’m a fuck up and…”

Whilst Dean had been speaking Cas had stood up and moved closer to him, not that Dean had noticed. He jerked his head up as he felt Cas’ fingers take hold of his chin.

“Wha..?” He asked eloquently. Unable to decipher the look in Cas’ eyes, he was trapped in his gaze nonetheless.

“You are an idiot Dean Winchester. A grade A idiot,” Cas was smiling at him, that special smile that was reserved just for Dean and it took everything Dean had to remain standing.  
“I have loved you from the moment I first laid my hand on you in hell when I didn’t truly know what love was, and I will probably love you for all eternity. No matter how much of a “fuck up” you think you are.” Dean smiled at his use of air quotes.  
“I am going to kiss you now Dean. Is that agreeable?”

“Fuck Cas. Yes. God yes.”

Cas slid his fingers along Dean’s jaw and to the back of his neck tugging him in close. Their eyes closing as their lips finally met.  
Dean whimpered as a spark of electricity jolted through him at the contact. Cas tentatively swept his tongue along the seam of Dean’s lips. Dean parted them on a sigh, his tongue moving to slide against Cas’ as he tugged Cas in closer deepening the kiss. His hands finding purchase on Cas’ hips, his fingers fisting into Cas’ shirt, holding on for dear life as he was swept away in the moment.

A cough sounded from the doorway making both men jump as Sam started speaking, “Please guys. God knows I am happy for y’all but get a damn room. It was bad enough with the pining looks, I really don’t need to see you, well, this,” he waved his hand between them both, “seriously though it’s about damn time.” He smiled affectionately at them both before walking back out of the room.

Dean leaned back in towards Cas. He tenderly brushed his lips over Cas’ again before resting their foreheads together, “So, I guess we’re doing this then?”

“I believe we are yes,” Cas’ smile was radiant as he looked at Dean, “I love you Dean Winchester.”

Dean beamed, he was happier than he ever thought he could be, “Love you too Cas. So damn much.”


End file.
